Poppin' that therapy cherry

[feldman]

Two years into this pandemic, many things have been coming to a head, and so I called in a professional and found a therapist. She does not talk very much, but it seems she doesn't have to? I feel like I'm tackling a hoarder house, only it's in my own skull.

I've been trying to be as honest and genuine as possible, taking off as many filters as I can identify, not curbing my language or metaphors, and taking the time to put shit into words.

Three sessions in, yesterday, she floated the idea of getting me tested for ADHD. I'm thinking of going ahead, maybe there are more tools out there I can use? But yeah, kinda out of left field in a way that, upon examination, maybe shouldn't be so surprising that something is zigging when it's expected to zag.

Comments

[oracne]

It sounds like it's going well - I tried out a couple of sessions via my doctor's office, not long before the pandemic, and even those introductory ones seemed to help a little. I didn't stick with it, though.

[feldman]

It's not what I expected from the process, but that's why I engaged a professional.

[oracne]

I hope it's helpful!

[lunabee34]

I hope this really helps you; it sounds like it's off to a promising start.

[feldman]

Thank you!

[rydra_wong]

I'm thinking of going ahead, maybe there are more tools out there I can use?

Here to vouch that getting any undiagnosed neurodivergencies diagnosed can be life-changing. Gives you access to a whole new framework for understanding how your brain works and all the tools and hacks invented by the other people with that neurodivergence (and the occasional helpful professional).

And if you don't have ADHD, that's also useful intel (might mean you need to look elsewehere for things which might be causing ADHD-like problems -- for example, there are a range of things that can lead to problems with executive function).

[feldman]

This is what I'm hearing from most folks I've asked, so I've scheduled the assessment for June.

I've shamelessly stolen ND tools and hacks for years, as my executive function is sludge for about 1/3 of the year from the seasonal depression, and my work habits have always been a source of pain.

What's very disturbing is all the stuff outside of winters, going back into early childhood, that also resonates with what I've been reading about Inattentive Type ADHD, plus some sensory issues in the mix.

If there's an easier mode to play this game on, I'm here for it, I'm exhausted.

[rydra_wong]

Also, I should say: having an official diagnosis is extremely handy, but if you go through the whole formal assessment process and at the end of it they say NOPE NO ADHD but you've done the reading and it all resonates and you think they're wrong -- trust yourself.

My experiences in the autism field have led me to conclude that self-diagnosis is often pretty damn reliable. Especially when it comes to adults who've been masking and compensating for decades, and especially when it comes to people who are female or AFAB, who tend to be underdiagnosed.

I've shamelessly stolen ND tools and hacks for years

Not stealing! If your brain benefits from them then you're as entitled to them as anyone else, whether you fit into a specific diagnostic category or not. This is not a "cultural appropriation" thing!

[kernezelda]

Sounds hopefully helpful... I consulted a therapist when I was at a breaking point back in the day, and it helped so much to clarify my thoughts to have them reflected by a professional of good training and understanding, and good will.

[feldman]

Yes! It's definitely freeing to have a space where I don't have to focus on the other party, bc that other person is expressly there to coach and guide the process.

[scapeartist]

I hope it helps. Don't know if you are ever interested in reading books about the way our brains (dys)function, but I'm just finishing up "The Body Keeps the Score" and it's been really interesting and helpful to understand the various traumas currently living in my house. Rather enlightening. I regularly consider therapy, but I have yet to take the leap for no good reason other than I don't feel like talking about myself. I will say that in the case of my kids, diagnoses has been a boon to getting them the supports they need. Good luck. I'm so glad you are taking care of yourself.

[feldman]

I listened to that one--it was the last straw that sent me to a neuro for the migraines last year. It has its flaws, the mind body dichotomy is a deeply rooted tenacious structural meme, but it put a new lens on some of the generational trauma at work in my family.

We all three have therapists, it's been a long run of shit years and now we can afford the mental care to start to process it.

But it feels like when you get a quote on a small refurb and they come back at you with structural issues.