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LinkedIn gives me Amway downline vibes. The selling of a worksona as a bland extruded product, the tide of AI written drivel copy, the swarm of hollow buzzwords. As the chief in SuperTroopers said, "Desperation is a stinky cologne."
I'm getting a decent hit-rate with my resume/cover letter game, at least. Haven't heard back from the place that gave me a personality test after the interview, which, having taken a grad level course on psychometrics that covered test design, feels like being ghosted for not coloring a kid's placemat "correctly". Trying to wrap my head around networking, so I reached out to a couple people low-key so far, testing out how to do this as myself (feels vulnerable but not terrible) instead of retreating into the old worksona (and feeling like an asshole extruding a product).
Been listening to Stacey Abrams book, which is both motivating and challenging. At one point she says, "Ambition should be heady stuff. It should make your neck itch and your palms sweat. Or if you're lucky, ambition may bring a smile to your face, the smile of actually seeing a different, bigger future." I'm nowhere near the smiling phase, but I certainly have felt that nervy unease in the service of others' audacity, let's fucking ride my own tiger for a change. I may even work myself up to buying some folks coffee, which is crazypants social butterfly shit compared to my baseline.
Also listening to the Feminist Survival Project podcast, from Emily and Amelia Nagoski of "Burnout" book fame. I'm still in the 2019 eps, which are a good overview and expansion of the book material -- which I found very valuable but haven't been able to reread for unrelated reasons. These quotes from the Nagoskis resonated for me:
Re: crying as one of a dozen methods for moving through stress: "Crying has been stolen from you by a society that doesn't want to see people's pain, or take responsibility for their suffering."
I'm getting a decent hit-rate with my resume/cover letter game, at least. Haven't heard back from the place that gave me a personality test after the interview, which, having taken a grad level course on psychometrics that covered test design, feels like being ghosted for not coloring a kid's placemat "correctly". Trying to wrap my head around networking, so I reached out to a couple people low-key so far, testing out how to do this as myself (feels vulnerable but not terrible) instead of retreating into the old worksona (and feeling like an asshole extruding a product).
Been listening to Stacey Abrams book, which is both motivating and challenging. At one point she says, "Ambition should be heady stuff. It should make your neck itch and your palms sweat. Or if you're lucky, ambition may bring a smile to your face, the smile of actually seeing a different, bigger future." I'm nowhere near the smiling phase, but I certainly have felt that nervy unease in the service of others' audacity, let's fucking ride my own tiger for a change. I may even work myself up to buying some folks coffee, which is crazypants social butterfly shit compared to my baseline.
Also listening to the Feminist Survival Project podcast, from Emily and Amelia Nagoski of "Burnout" book fame. I'm still in the 2019 eps, which are a good overview and expansion of the book material -- which I found very valuable but haven't been able to reread for unrelated reasons. These quotes from the Nagoskis resonated for me:
"Loving attention is not a finite resource that needs to be rationed. When we turn toward any kind of difficult feelings -- mine, your own, the world's -- when we turn toward difficult feelings it creates more energy for the giver and the receiver of that attention. It feeds all of us, it refuels all of us."
Re: crying as one of a dozen methods for moving through stress: "Crying has been stolen from you by a society that doesn't want to see people's pain, or take responsibility for their suffering."
