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Um what
Nov. 14th, 2025 01:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ysobel posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
agonyauntDear Miss Manners: What is the polite way to eat large sushi rolls? Sometimes they’re too big to comfortably eat whole without gagging!
Dissect them.
Miss Manners does not usually condone deconstructing food in public, but these are desperate times. Use your chopsticks to pull out the insides and eat them separately. Then either squish the remaining rice and seaweed together and eat it in two bites or use the side of the chopstick to cut it in half.
Perhaps the sight of their beautiful creations being desecrated will inspire the chefs to make more manageable bites. Or at least have them wonder why everyone is suddenly ordering them as takeout instead.
Dissect them.
Miss Manners does not usually condone deconstructing food in public, but these are desperate times. Use your chopsticks to pull out the insides and eat them separately. Then either squish the remaining rice and seaweed together and eat it in two bites or use the side of the chopstick to cut it in half.
Perhaps the sight of their beautiful creations being desecrated will inspire the chefs to make more manageable bites. Or at least have them wonder why everyone is suddenly ordering them as takeout instead.
Harriette continues to be the worst
Nov. 14th, 2025 09:28 amconuly posting in agonyauntDEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more. We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said he feels sorry for my future children. I was wounded. That is such a strong statement.
I tried to unpack with him what he had said, but I didn't get far. He shared that he thought my expectations were too aggressive and that no kid will be able to thrive around me. I think of parenting as a balance between structure and vulnerability, and I've always hoped I will be an honest and understanding mom. Neither of us has children, by the way.
I want my friend to know his harsh critiques impacted me and that he should be more mindful with his opinions in the future. Is it even worth revisiting this conversation? -- Bad Mom
( Read more... )
I tried to unpack with him what he had said, but I didn't get far. He shared that he thought my expectations were too aggressive and that no kid will be able to thrive around me. I think of parenting as a balance between structure and vulnerability, and I've always hoped I will be an honest and understanding mom. Neither of us has children, by the way.
I want my friend to know his harsh critiques impacted me and that he should be more mindful with his opinions in the future. Is it even worth revisiting this conversation? -- Bad Mom
( Read more... )
Thanksgiving
Nov. 14th, 2025 05:02 amconuly posting in agonyaunt1. Dear Eric: For the last 45 years or so I’ve hosted Thanksgiving for my family. I’ve had as many as 25 people. My sister has two sons, and they’ve always stayed with me. Quite frankly, it’s now an issue. Only one son comes but he now has three sons of his own, ranging from 22 to 8. My sister also stays with me. They come on Wednesday and stay till Friday. It’s a lot considering all I have to do for the holiday.
I know if I say something about a hotel, they will be highly insulted.
My daughter also comes and stays, but that’s different. She’s one person and my daughter. Advice?
– Overwhelmed
( Read more... )
****
2. Dear Prudence,
My brother has good relationships with everybody but refuses to be part of Thanksgiving, Christmas, or large group events because he says that while he loves us individually, we’re a nightmare collectively. I get it and, frankly, I would love to do the same—my parents and wider family are lovely but bicker and squabble when they get together, particularly over politics, which gets ever uglier. But I also know that my family finds his attitude deeply hurtful. I’m stuck between wanting to opt out myself or trying to persuade him to change his mind because I can see how sad it makes my mother. My instinct is to stay out of it; we’re all adults. But I also feel a bit jealous and miffed. Is there a way forward?
—Stuck in the Middle
( Read more... )
****
3. Dear A.J.,
My husband’s brother, “George,” is a recovering alcoholic. He’s been sober for eight months. The thing is, Thanksgiving is coming up, and we’ve always served wine with dinner.
My husband thinks it would be completely inappropriate for us to do so this year because George is coming over, and he doesn’t want him to be “tempted.” I understand that George is going to be battling his alcoholism for the rest of his life, but at the same time, he can’t expect the world around him to be dry everywhere he goes and needs to be able to navigate settings where alcohol is served. This is turning into a sticking point between my husband and me. Is my husband right? Am I being thoughtless?
—Warring Over Wine
( Read more... )
I know if I say something about a hotel, they will be highly insulted.
My daughter also comes and stays, but that’s different. She’s one person and my daughter. Advice?
– Overwhelmed
( Read more... )
2. Dear Prudence,
My brother has good relationships with everybody but refuses to be part of Thanksgiving, Christmas, or large group events because he says that while he loves us individually, we’re a nightmare collectively. I get it and, frankly, I would love to do the same—my parents and wider family are lovely but bicker and squabble when they get together, particularly over politics, which gets ever uglier. But I also know that my family finds his attitude deeply hurtful. I’m stuck between wanting to opt out myself or trying to persuade him to change his mind because I can see how sad it makes my mother. My instinct is to stay out of it; we’re all adults. But I also feel a bit jealous and miffed. Is there a way forward?
—Stuck in the Middle
( Read more... )
3. Dear A.J.,
My husband’s brother, “George,” is a recovering alcoholic. He’s been sober for eight months. The thing is, Thanksgiving is coming up, and we’ve always served wine with dinner.
My husband thinks it would be completely inappropriate for us to do so this year because George is coming over, and he doesn’t want him to be “tempted.” I understand that George is going to be battling his alcoholism for the rest of his life, but at the same time, he can’t expect the world around him to be dry everywhere he goes and needs to be able to navigate settings where alcohol is served. This is turning into a sticking point between my husband and me. Is my husband right? Am I being thoughtless?
—Warring Over Wine
( Read more... )
Terrible families!
Nov. 14th, 2025 05:01 amconuly posting in agonyaunt1. Dear Eric: I am in my late 30s. I live halfway across the country from my parents, and don't have the best relationship with them. I also have a brother four years younger than me who I have been estranged from for 20 years.
My brother doesn't live with my parents, but he lives in the same city my parents do. If I visit, my parents will tell him and have him come over. I have no intentions of reconciling with him, as he did some horrible things to me 20 years ago which I can never forgive him for.
With my parents, things don't get through unless I take drastic measures. How do I go about conveying my desires not to see him? My plan would be to tell them they have to tell him he can't come to their house while I'm there, and if they don't respect my wishes, I simply won't see them. And that my parents can't just say they want to see me and not respect my conditions for the visit. I wanted your perspective on how I can "lay down the law" and enforce it.
– Unwelcome Home
( Read more... )
*****
2. Dear Annie: I'm 28 and recently moved back in with my parents to save money after a tough breakup. I'm grateful for the support, but I'm having trouble with my mom's behavior. She constantly comments on my weight, how I dress, or how much I'm on my phone. Last week, she said I'd have "better luck" if I wore makeup and "put myself out there more."
I've tried brushing it off, but it's starting to wear me down. I've asked her, gently, to stop making comments about my appearance, but she just laughs and says she's "trying to help." My dad usually stays quiet or tells me not to be so sensitive.
I really want to move out, but I can't afford to just yet. Do I have to suffer through the next few months or is there a way to get through to her? -- Tired Daughter in Transition
( Read more... )
***********
3. Dear Annie: My wife and I visit our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter two or three times a year for about three days each visit. It's a five- to six-hour drive for us. Both my wife and I have severe asthma primarily from cat allergies, and we struggle with wheezing and irritated eyes every time we visit. My SIL has cat allergies, too.
Recently, their cat died (finally), and I urged my daughter to consider not getting another one. I explained our situation clearly, stating that if she did so, we'd have to stay at a hotel or B&B during future visits. She just got two more cats.
What would you think? -- Allergic and Angry
( Read more... )
************
4. Dear Annie: My husband, "Keith," and I have been married for 12 years. We've always been a team when it comes to parenting our two kids, ages 9 and 6, but lately I've noticed a shift. Keith has become increasingly harsh with them, especially our oldest, "Ben." He'll snap over small things -- like a jacket left on the floor or a missed chore -- and his tone has turned cold and critical.
I've brought it up several times, but Keith insists he's "just trying to teach them responsibility." I understand that, but I worry he's doing more harm than good. Ben has started shutting down emotionally, and our younger one is now walking on eggshells.
When I try to step in and soften things, Keith accuses me of "undermining" him. I'm stuck between protecting my kids and maintaining a united front as parents. I've suggested counseling, but he refuses, saying we don't need it.
How do I support my children without turning this into a bigger conflict between me and my husband? And how do I get Keith to see that his approach may be damaging? -- Worried Wife and Mom
( Read more... )
**************
5. Dear Care and Feeding,
I was once an academic competition prodigy. I was one word away from making the National Spelling Bee. My family would always attend these events, including my sister. However, when my sister started her own events, like the middle school choir, my disdain for attending was quite obvious through my groans and moans. I was a high schooler myself and quite self-centered. At her graduation, I volunteered not to go and opted instead to meet them at the restaurant where we would be celebrating.
I was 100 percent wrong for doing this. Now I am two years out of college, and my sister is almost done with her undergraduate degree. Since then, we haven’t really talked, though things are mostly cordial between us. I can count the conversations I’ve had with her since I turned 18 on one hand. My sister frequently states that when she makes it out, she probably will be a stranger to the family, and she doesn’t respond a lot to my parents or other family when they contact her. I admit that we don’t have many common interests, and I don’t know much about her, but it feels wrong not to be close to your own sister. Is there anything I can do, or is this relationship beyond repair?
—Is There a Chance?
( Read more... )
*****
6. Dear Care and Feeding,
In the ‘70s and ‘80s, my learning disabilities were undiagnosed, and I was the “stupid” one in the family. As an adult, I know myself to be very intelligent, but my siblings never realized this, and they have passed on their attitudes to their school-age children.
The kids do not believe me when I speak to them about current events or anything fact-based. When they ask an adult at large to spell something, and I reply, they check my response with another adult. I told one of them a medical fact, and they told me flatly that their parent was much, much smarter, and their parent said otherwise, so I must be wrong. (The fact that I do not work due to a medical issue probably contributes to their perception of me as extremely unintelligent.)
My siblings think this is hilarious. I am hurt. I want to have a relationship with the kids while I still can. I have tried explaining learning disabilities and multiple intelligences to the kids, but I think they just see it as me lecturing them. I only see them every few months anyway. Is this battle even worth fighting? If so, how?
—The Uncle
( Read more... )
*****
7. DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get someone who believes in tough love to understand that that does not resonate with me? For a long time, my siblings and I have had strained relationships with our mom because of how crass she can be. She has strong and often negative opinions, and she is not shy about sharing them. I was recently admitted to a two-year college. I am in my late 20s and didn't prioritize college when I was 18 like my parents wanted.
Apparently, there's still some resentment there, because when I announced which school I'd be going to, my mom snickered and asked me if I was proud of that school. When she realized that she had offended me, she said that she was trying to encourage me. I can't keep letting her impose her negativity on me. Mocking me is NOT encouragement. I don't know how to get her to see that, though. -- Never Good Enough
( Read more... )
****
8. DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got into a heated argument with my dad, and it's been bothering me ever since. The fight started when I told him I wanted to move to a different city for a job opportunity. He criticized my decision, saying I was being reckless and that I should stay closer to home where things are "safe" and familiar. I tried to explain why this move was important for my career and independence, but he kept bringing up past choices he didn't agree with, like leaving my old job and choosing a career path he hadn't expected. Before I knew it, I was yelling back, telling him that I need to make my own decisions and that his constant criticism feels controlling.
We haven't spoken in a few days, and I feel a mix of frustration, guilt and sadness. I love my dad and value his opinion, but I feel like he doesn't trust me to make my own choices. I want to reach out and repair our relationship, but I don't want to be the only one apologizing if he doesn't acknowledge his role in the argument. How do I approach him in a way that expresses my feelings honestly while also opening the door for reconciliation? Is it possible to set boundaries and stand firm on my decisions without damaging our relationship further? -- Dad Divide
( Read more... )
My brother doesn't live with my parents, but he lives in the same city my parents do. If I visit, my parents will tell him and have him come over. I have no intentions of reconciling with him, as he did some horrible things to me 20 years ago which I can never forgive him for.
With my parents, things don't get through unless I take drastic measures. How do I go about conveying my desires not to see him? My plan would be to tell them they have to tell him he can't come to their house while I'm there, and if they don't respect my wishes, I simply won't see them. And that my parents can't just say they want to see me and not respect my conditions for the visit. I wanted your perspective on how I can "lay down the law" and enforce it.
– Unwelcome Home
( Read more... )
2. Dear Annie: I'm 28 and recently moved back in with my parents to save money after a tough breakup. I'm grateful for the support, but I'm having trouble with my mom's behavior. She constantly comments on my weight, how I dress, or how much I'm on my phone. Last week, she said I'd have "better luck" if I wore makeup and "put myself out there more."
I've tried brushing it off, but it's starting to wear me down. I've asked her, gently, to stop making comments about my appearance, but she just laughs and says she's "trying to help." My dad usually stays quiet or tells me not to be so sensitive.
I really want to move out, but I can't afford to just yet. Do I have to suffer through the next few months or is there a way to get through to her? -- Tired Daughter in Transition
( Read more... )
3. Dear Annie: My wife and I visit our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter two or three times a year for about three days each visit. It's a five- to six-hour drive for us. Both my wife and I have severe asthma primarily from cat allergies, and we struggle with wheezing and irritated eyes every time we visit. My SIL has cat allergies, too.
Recently, their cat died (finally), and I urged my daughter to consider not getting another one. I explained our situation clearly, stating that if she did so, we'd have to stay at a hotel or B&B during future visits. She just got two more cats.
What would you think? -- Allergic and Angry
( Read more... )
4. Dear Annie: My husband, "Keith," and I have been married for 12 years. We've always been a team when it comes to parenting our two kids, ages 9 and 6, but lately I've noticed a shift. Keith has become increasingly harsh with them, especially our oldest, "Ben." He'll snap over small things -- like a jacket left on the floor or a missed chore -- and his tone has turned cold and critical.
I've brought it up several times, but Keith insists he's "just trying to teach them responsibility." I understand that, but I worry he's doing more harm than good. Ben has started shutting down emotionally, and our younger one is now walking on eggshells.
When I try to step in and soften things, Keith accuses me of "undermining" him. I'm stuck between protecting my kids and maintaining a united front as parents. I've suggested counseling, but he refuses, saying we don't need it.
How do I support my children without turning this into a bigger conflict between me and my husband? And how do I get Keith to see that his approach may be damaging? -- Worried Wife and Mom
( Read more... )
5. Dear Care and Feeding,
I was once an academic competition prodigy. I was one word away from making the National Spelling Bee. My family would always attend these events, including my sister. However, when my sister started her own events, like the middle school choir, my disdain for attending was quite obvious through my groans and moans. I was a high schooler myself and quite self-centered. At her graduation, I volunteered not to go and opted instead to meet them at the restaurant where we would be celebrating.
I was 100 percent wrong for doing this. Now I am two years out of college, and my sister is almost done with her undergraduate degree. Since then, we haven’t really talked, though things are mostly cordial between us. I can count the conversations I’ve had with her since I turned 18 on one hand. My sister frequently states that when she makes it out, she probably will be a stranger to the family, and she doesn’t respond a lot to my parents or other family when they contact her. I admit that we don’t have many common interests, and I don’t know much about her, but it feels wrong not to be close to your own sister. Is there anything I can do, or is this relationship beyond repair?
—Is There a Chance?
( Read more... )
6. Dear Care and Feeding,
In the ‘70s and ‘80s, my learning disabilities were undiagnosed, and I was the “stupid” one in the family. As an adult, I know myself to be very intelligent, but my siblings never realized this, and they have passed on their attitudes to their school-age children.
The kids do not believe me when I speak to them about current events or anything fact-based. When they ask an adult at large to spell something, and I reply, they check my response with another adult. I told one of them a medical fact, and they told me flatly that their parent was much, much smarter, and their parent said otherwise, so I must be wrong. (The fact that I do not work due to a medical issue probably contributes to their perception of me as extremely unintelligent.)
My siblings think this is hilarious. I am hurt. I want to have a relationship with the kids while I still can. I have tried explaining learning disabilities and multiple intelligences to the kids, but I think they just see it as me lecturing them. I only see them every few months anyway. Is this battle even worth fighting? If so, how?
—The Uncle
( Read more... )
7. DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I get someone who believes in tough love to understand that that does not resonate with me? For a long time, my siblings and I have had strained relationships with our mom because of how crass she can be. She has strong and often negative opinions, and she is not shy about sharing them. I was recently admitted to a two-year college. I am in my late 20s and didn't prioritize college when I was 18 like my parents wanted.
Apparently, there's still some resentment there, because when I announced which school I'd be going to, my mom snickered and asked me if I was proud of that school. When she realized that she had offended me, she said that she was trying to encourage me. I can't keep letting her impose her negativity on me. Mocking me is NOT encouragement. I don't know how to get her to see that, though. -- Never Good Enough
( Read more... )
8. DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got into a heated argument with my dad, and it's been bothering me ever since. The fight started when I told him I wanted to move to a different city for a job opportunity. He criticized my decision, saying I was being reckless and that I should stay closer to home where things are "safe" and familiar. I tried to explain why this move was important for my career and independence, but he kept bringing up past choices he didn't agree with, like leaving my old job and choosing a career path he hadn't expected. Before I knew it, I was yelling back, telling him that I need to make my own decisions and that his constant criticism feels controlling.
We haven't spoken in a few days, and I feel a mix of frustration, guilt and sadness. I love my dad and value his opinion, but I feel like he doesn't trust me to make my own choices. I want to reach out and repair our relationship, but I don't want to be the only one apologizing if he doesn't acknowledge his role in the argument. How do I approach him in a way that expresses my feelings honestly while also opening the door for reconciliation? Is it possible to set boundaries and stand firm on my decisions without damaging our relationship further? -- Dad Divide
( Read more... )
Geez, this dude....
Nov. 14th, 2025 05:19 amconuly posting in agonyauntDear Eric: Over the course of our 26-year marriage I have caught my wife in numerous lies. We started marriage counseling three months ago and during an early session I asked if we could finally be truthful with each other, no more lies. No such luck.
Years ago, her brother suddenly fled and left all his belongings. She put them in storage but when I found out I told her to remove them or have him pay the monthly fee. Today I discovered she has been paying for her brother’s monthly storage bill for at least 10 years without my knowledge. That comes to $16,500. It may even be higher.
Initially she said she was being reimbursed. I asked for proof. She said she would show me. Then she changed her story to say it's her money and she can spend it however she chooses, so forget the proof. Pretty sure there never was any proof of reimbursement. My wife believes the best defense is to go on the offense, and she does it a lot.
I am married to a liar, a sneak, someone with no conscience. What should I do?
– Deceived Again
( Read more... )
Years ago, her brother suddenly fled and left all his belongings. She put them in storage but when I found out I told her to remove them or have him pay the monthly fee. Today I discovered she has been paying for her brother’s monthly storage bill for at least 10 years without my knowledge. That comes to $16,500. It may even be higher.
Initially she said she was being reimbursed. I asked for proof. She said she would show me. Then she changed her story to say it's her money and she can spend it however she chooses, so forget the proof. Pretty sure there never was any proof of reimbursement. My wife believes the best defense is to go on the offense, and she does it a lot.
I am married to a liar, a sneak, someone with no conscience. What should I do?
– Deceived Again
( Read more... )
5x01 Red Directive
Nov. 14th, 2025 09:52 ammekare posting in spacefunguspartyOmg the final season. I‘m looking forward to it but also don‘t want to say goodbye to this crew.
( I‘d rather not die out here, I‘ve got a saxophone lesson to get to. )
What did you think of Moll and L'ak?
( I‘d rather not die out here, I‘ve got a saxophone lesson to get to. )
What did you think of Moll and L'ak?
(no subject)
Nov. 14th, 2025 03:50 amconuly posting in agonyauntMy 5-year-old daughter, “Wren,” has been a nail-biter for the past six months. Nothing my husband and I tried could break her of the habit. Then miraculously, she stopped. When I mentioned my relief to my mother-in-law, she took credit for it. Then she told me her “solution.”
She told Wren that her hair would fall out if she kept biting her nails! I’m not sure how to feel about this. On the one hand, I’m pissed my mother-in-law would lie to my daughter. On the other hand, it worked. Do I need to tell Wren the truth, or can my husband and I (at least for the time being) keep up the ruse?
—Something to Chew On
( WTF )
She told Wren that her hair would fall out if she kept biting her nails! I’m not sure how to feel about this. On the one hand, I’m pissed my mother-in-law would lie to my daughter. On the other hand, it worked. Do I need to tell Wren the truth, or can my husband and I (at least for the time being) keep up the ruse?
—Something to Chew On
( WTF )
(no subject)
Nov. 14th, 2025 01:08 amconuly posting in agonyauntDear Carolyn: I recently completed a major renovation project to my backyard, and my mother expressed disappointment that I haven’t invited her over to see it. I told her I was waiting to do a big unveiling, but the truth — which I confessed to my brother — is that I’m anxious about her opinion because she and I have different tastes.
She is the type of person who will always compliment you verbally, but you can often tell by her expression how she really feels. I described her as rather fake, but my brother said I am being unfair. He pointed out that I could be accused of being equally judgmental by holding against someone not their words and actions, but my own belief about what’s going on inside their head, whether or not it’s true. I had never thought of it that way.
My brother never seems to care about other people’s opinions. I’d like to try his mindset, which seems very freeing, but I don’t know how. It’s especially hard to embrace the idea that I’m supposed to just let it slide when I feel silently critiqued or when someone is only being nice to my face.
Am I oversensitive? Then what’s the right level of sensitivity? Any tips for me?
( Read more... )
She is the type of person who will always compliment you verbally, but you can often tell by her expression how she really feels. I described her as rather fake, but my brother said I am being unfair. He pointed out that I could be accused of being equally judgmental by holding against someone not their words and actions, but my own belief about what’s going on inside their head, whether or not it’s true. I had never thought of it that way.
My brother never seems to care about other people’s opinions. I’d like to try his mindset, which seems very freeing, but I don’t know how. It’s especially hard to embrace the idea that I’m supposed to just let it slide when I feel silently critiqued or when someone is only being nice to my face.
Am I oversensitive? Then what’s the right level of sensitivity? Any tips for me?
( Read more... )
Watching the screen: Netflix edition
Nov. 13th, 2025 10:13 amrunpunkrunSome screens I watched recently, in alphabetical order, all on Netflix:
Abstract: Each hour-long episode features a different artist in a different medium and examines their approach to making art. Totally fascinating. Highly recommended.
Another Life: Bad SF. I watched twenty minutes of this, but the writing was terrible, the world building vacuous, and my beloved Katee Sackhoff completely devoid of charisma. Does star that beardy Teen Wolf guy, though, if you're in the market.
Archer: I used to randomly watch this on FX, and so I sat down and started over at the beginning so I could see the whole thing. The comedy style is more insulting than I enjoy now, but I could listen to H. Jon Benjamin talk all day. This was also how I learned Jessica Walter died in 2021 and it hit me unexpectedly hard.
Diplomat: Watched season three, and it was so good I regretted not rewatching season one and two before the new season. Though how Kate hasn't figured out she's exactly like her husband is a hilarious mystery. Like the moment one of them isn't getting enough attention they do something completely fucked up. Highly recommended. Contains (in part): suicide.
Four Seasons: I felt pretty sure I wasn't going to be into these middle-age married people's problems (two white straight couples, and a mixed race gay couple), but it's Tina Fey so I had to try. I liked it more than I thought I would! It was a pleasant diversion and I liked the set up of two episodes per season (Earth seasons, not TV seasons) as these old friends get together for visits and vacations. Contains: divorce, grief.
High Town: Set in Provincetown, Massachusetts, and filled with drug use, drug dealers, party queers, depressed fishermen, and cops. High production value and a hot gay woman of color as a lead (Monica Raymund as Jack), but after an episode and a half I didn't care about any of the characters. It's no The Wire.
Wayward: Starring Mae Martin. Also created, written, and executive produced by Martin, so me with my Mae Martin problem spent the entire time very distracted. But, my love for Martin's beautiful pointy face aside, this drama/thriller about a small town and its cult-like reform school lead by a chillingly maternalistic Toni Collette is very watchable. Pointlessly set in the early 2000s. Also gory, violent, and upsetting, but the dog makes it. Recommended. Contains: drug use, shitty parents, child harm/death.
Wick is Pain: I've never seen a single John Wick movie, but I enjoyed this behind the scenes look at how action films get made, particularly this series with its signature gun fu style and, of course, Keanu Reeves, who does the majority of his own stunts and fighting and who is interviewed along with the directors, producers, and stunt personnel involved with the films. Contains: violence, guns, cinematic death of a dog.
The Woman in Cabin 10: Started this solely on the strength of Keira Knightley's presence, but even she couldn't rescue this glossy but limp woman-sees-something-alarming-but-literally-no-one-believes-her thriller. I watched this in twenty minute increments over three nights, swearing I was done with it every night until, on the third night, Keira Knightley did something so unforgivably stupid I immediately deleted it from my continue watching list.
Abstract: Each hour-long episode features a different artist in a different medium and examines their approach to making art. Totally fascinating. Highly recommended.
Another Life: Bad SF. I watched twenty minutes of this, but the writing was terrible, the world building vacuous, and my beloved Katee Sackhoff completely devoid of charisma. Does star that beardy Teen Wolf guy, though, if you're in the market.
Archer: I used to randomly watch this on FX, and so I sat down and started over at the beginning so I could see the whole thing. The comedy style is more insulting than I enjoy now, but I could listen to H. Jon Benjamin talk all day. This was also how I learned Jessica Walter died in 2021 and it hit me unexpectedly hard.
Diplomat: Watched season three, and it was so good I regretted not rewatching season one and two before the new season. Though how Kate hasn't figured out she's exactly like her husband is a hilarious mystery. Like the moment one of them isn't getting enough attention they do something completely fucked up. Highly recommended. Contains (in part): suicide.
Four Seasons: I felt pretty sure I wasn't going to be into these middle-age married people's problems (two white straight couples, and a mixed race gay couple), but it's Tina Fey so I had to try. I liked it more than I thought I would! It was a pleasant diversion and I liked the set up of two episodes per season (Earth seasons, not TV seasons) as these old friends get together for visits and vacations. Contains: divorce, grief.
High Town: Set in Provincetown, Massachusetts, and filled with drug use, drug dealers, party queers, depressed fishermen, and cops. High production value and a hot gay woman of color as a lead (Monica Raymund as Jack), but after an episode and a half I didn't care about any of the characters. It's no The Wire.
Wayward: Starring Mae Martin. Also created, written, and executive produced by Martin, so me with my Mae Martin problem spent the entire time very distracted. But, my love for Martin's beautiful pointy face aside, this drama/thriller about a small town and its cult-like reform school lead by a chillingly maternalistic Toni Collette is very watchable. Pointlessly set in the early 2000s. Also gory, violent, and upsetting, but the dog makes it. Recommended. Contains: drug use, shitty parents, child harm/death.
Wick is Pain: I've never seen a single John Wick movie, but I enjoyed this behind the scenes look at how action films get made, particularly this series with its signature gun fu style and, of course, Keanu Reeves, who does the majority of his own stunts and fighting and who is interviewed along with the directors, producers, and stunt personnel involved with the films. Contains: violence, guns, cinematic death of a dog.
The Woman in Cabin 10: Started this solely on the strength of Keira Knightley's presence, but even she couldn't rescue this glossy but limp woman-sees-something-alarming-but-literally-no-one-believes-her thriller. I watched this in twenty minute increments over three nights, swearing I was done with it every night until, on the third night, Keira Knightley did something so unforgivably stupid I immediately deleted it from my continue watching list.
WIPBB - Messy in the Middle (Harry Potter)
Nov. 12th, 2025 07:24 pmchokolattejedi posting in wipbigbangProject Title: Messy in the Middle
Fandom: Harry Potter
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70648771/chapters/183610671
Summary: An adult actually notices what is happening with Harry Potter, and his entire life changes for the better. Family, friends, and even magic await him away from the Dursleys.
Warnings: Major Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Child Abuse
Characters: Harry Potter, Dursley Family, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, Dean Thomas, Nymphadora Tonks, Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Daphne Greengrass, Blaise Zabini, Augusta Longbottom, Amelia Bones, Andromeda Black Tonks, Ernie Macmillan, Other(s), Original Characters, Quirinus Quirrell, Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Pairings: Gen
When I Started: December, 2015
Fandom: Harry Potter
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70648771/chapters/183610671
Summary: An adult actually notices what is happening with Harry Potter, and his entire life changes for the better. Family, friends, and even magic await him away from the Dursleys.
Warnings: Major Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Child Abuse
Characters: Harry Potter, Dursley Family, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, Dean Thomas, Nymphadora Tonks, Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Daphne Greengrass, Blaise Zabini, Augusta Longbottom, Amelia Bones, Andromeda Black Tonks, Ernie Macmillan, Other(s), Original Characters, Quirinus Quirrell, Tom Riddle | Voldemort
Pairings: Gen
When I Started: December, 2015
S4 Episodes Species Ten-C and Coming Home
Nov. 13th, 2025 10:08 ammekare posting in spacefunguspartySo, I decided to finally finish this season so I can get into new territory (for me). Season 5 has been lying around here since January and it‘s high time I finally watched it.
( Our fates are always interconnected. Maybe that’s the lesson, if there is one - that is true of all of us. We’ve lost so many, you and me, but we can’t do harm in their names or memories. We have to honour them. All of them… because they were beloved. Beautiful. )
( Our fates are always interconnected. Maybe that’s the lesson, if there is one - that is true of all of us. We’ve lost so many, you and me, but we can’t do harm in their names or memories. We have to honour them. All of them… because they were beloved. Beautiful. )
The Searcher, by Tana French
Nov. 12th, 2025 08:29 amrunpunkrunA quiet mystery with an emphasis on character, plus a little carpentry and a lot of Irish countryside. A perfect read for late fall as it turns into winter.
Though when I say it's perfect for fall, I mean that the season in the book closely matched what was going on outside my own window. The story, on the other hand, is an discomforting mix of cozy and violent, and I found the resolution to the mystery something of a letdown, so I mostly enjoyed this for the scenery, the small town atmosphere, and the relationships between the characters. Cal wasn't my favorite, a Chicago cop who retired because he couldn't tell if he was doing the right thing anymore, has the flavor of someone who might use "woke" as an insult (let him tell you his stance on pronouns), and still has the voice of his ex-wife in his head critiquing his every thought (which, let's be honest, he needs), but he's well drawn and his contradictions reflect his circumstances and the era, and when I say era, I mean 2020, that decade of a year.
Contains: graphic violence; child harm; graphic descriptions of mutilated livestock and hunting rabbits for food; published in 2020, but pre-covid.
Though when I say it's perfect for fall, I mean that the season in the book closely matched what was going on outside my own window. The story, on the other hand, is an discomforting mix of cozy and violent, and I found the resolution to the mystery something of a letdown, so I mostly enjoyed this for the scenery, the small town atmosphere, and the relationships between the characters. Cal wasn't my favorite, a Chicago cop who retired because he couldn't tell if he was doing the right thing anymore, has the flavor of someone who might use "woke" as an insult (let him tell you his stance on pronouns), and still has the voice of his ex-wife in his head critiquing his every thought (which, let's be honest, he needs), but he's well drawn and his contradictions reflect his circumstances and the era, and when I say era, I mean 2020, that decade of a year.
Contains: graphic violence; child harm; graphic descriptions of mutilated livestock and hunting rabbits for food; published in 2020, but pre-covid.
Frankenstein (2025) (Film Review)
Nov. 12th, 2025 10:50 amselenakThe short version: visually gorgeous (I expected no less from del Torro), well acted, but alas, it reminds me of nothing as much as a certain type of fanfiction - grovelfic, in lack of a better term - I used to find annoying back in the Highlander days, aka the ones where not only Cassandra is the true villalin but Methos was the fluffiest Horseman of the Apocalypse ever and Duncan profoundly apologizes. I mean, it's not that extreme, because Victor is something of an narcissistic jerk in the novel (though not only), and the Creature, who is my favourite character in it anyway, is very much the product of unearned abuse before he starts dealing out death and horror, but good lord. What Del Torro did in his version is really the type of fanfic that absolves the favored woobie (or do we say blorbo these days?) from any wrongdoing whatsoever, thereby unintentionally taking something crucial from what makes the character away, and shoves it upon the unfavourite. And that's before we get to "hat is the geography of this story anyway?" and "why got spoiler engaged to spoiler in the first place?" Mind you, if I had never ever read the novel, I suspect I might have loved the film, beccause as I said - terrific looks and good acting - but as it is, I have to consider the adaptation aspect, and here I have to say Penny Dreadful remains uncontested champion for best rendition of both the Creature (Caliban, just that there is no misunderstanding) and Victor Frankenstein in both their flaws and virtues and (Mary) Shelleyan themes. Runner up isn't this one, but the Branagh movie, which, yes, Kenneth Branagh in his slightly megalomaniac self indulgent Coppola phase, and he softens Victor's characterisation a bit (though not to the degree Del Torro softens the Creature's), but still, of all the adaptations I've seen, it probably sticks the most to the actual novel. (While Penny Dreadful's versions of the Creature and Frankenstein stick most the the spirit and characterisation.) (James Whale's two Frankenstein movies are their own artistic creations which while founding the pop culture idea of both the scientist and the creature are really their own independent things, sharing little but names and not even those at pars.)
( The spoilery version wonders whether everyone is telelporting at different plot points )
In conclusion: maybe do an original script the next time, del Torro? I really wonder whether the crazy geography and all the other technical issues would have mattered to me if I hadn't been comparing book and film, or whether I would allowed myself being swept away by the spectacle, and the characters as presented in the movie. But I do suspect some of the characterisation questions would still have remained.
( The spoilery version wonders whether everyone is telelporting at different plot points )
In conclusion: maybe do an original script the next time, del Torro? I really wonder whether the crazy geography and all the other technical issues would have mattered to me if I hadn't been comparing book and film, or whether I would allowed myself being swept away by the spectacle, and the characters as presented in the movie. But I do suspect some of the characterisation questions would still have remained.
"This fight is levelling you up before our eyes"
Nov. 11th, 2025 07:00 pmrydra_wongFor anyone who's Dark Souls-curious and has a spare 30 mins, this is the best illustration I've seen of the process of figuring out a boss fight, and how you can go from dying in the first couple of seconds of a fight to methodical execution of it (and why it's so incredibly satisfying when you do):
For context, this is the Stray Demon, an optional side boss who's a very beefed-up version (now with added magic, as well as vastly increased damage and HP!) of the Asylum Demon from the tutorial.
I have a theory that the Asylum Demon is so pear-shaped partly in order to encourage the novice player to think of getting behind him and stabbing him in the arse, thus learning a key component of DS1 strategy (positioning yourself where it's hardest for them to hit you, which frequently means getting behind them or in their crotch).
For context, this is the Stray Demon, an optional side boss who's a very beefed-up version (now with added magic, as well as vastly increased damage and HP!) of the Asylum Demon from the tutorial.
I have a theory that the Asylum Demon is so pear-shaped partly in order to encourage the novice player to think of getting behind him and stabbing him in the arse, thus learning a key component of DS1 strategy (positioning yourself where it's hardest for them to hit you, which frequently means getting behind them or in their crotch).
