Icon Drabble #2

[feldman]

ch1pper made me this icon! And she wanted angsty John, but then she mentioned detox and this happened instead, less with the angsty and more with the physically ill and emotionally uncomfortable...

~*~

Porcelain Skin


He knew from earth that it would be difficult, that his body had become accustomed

addicted

to the hit.

If Granny hadn't slipped an extra in her pocket, he would have been this bad, or worse, in front of his family. In front of his dad, his baby sister.

Instead it's Aeryn who watches him, arms crossed and forehead crumpled, mouth emotionless as she holds up the doorway. He curls away from the waste funnel, arms shaking as he braces against the warm floor.

"Know what the worst part is?" Besides Aeryn watching him detox with that careful expression, calculating the differentials between empathy and hurt.

Her voice isn't unsympathetic, even though she hasn't touched him since the cold turkey set in with a vengeance. "That you did this to yourself?"

He doesn't shake his head, doesn't goad the vertigo, just squeezes his eyes shut and hunches back on his knees, spine collapsed around the vibrating clench of his belly. "The floor is warm. Sick as a dog and not a cold tile in the place."

"Cold floors." She pushes off from the doorway and takes a step closer.

"You rest your forehead on the cold floor. Helps."

"Cold." He watches her arms unfold, her hands careful as she unholsters her weapon and turns it as if to pistol whip him in slow mo. "Against the forehead?"

He risks a single nod, and then the flat of the grip is cool against his head, the chill of the chakkan oil inside bleeding off some of the sick heat of his brain. Eyes closed, his hands involuntarily cup the grip and shift her cool fingers against his skin. Her other hand strokes through his damp hair, tentative, and he swallows against the rising tremor.

~*~

Comments

[twichie.livejournal.com]

Holy crap that's pretty. Both of 'em. The icon and the drabble. *thumbs up*

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

A perfect moment. Very well done. And what a deep gesture of trust it is, letting her put a gun on his forehead, even with the business end away.

[jebbypal]

wow, great job. :):)

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! And ch1pper did a great job on the icon 8 )

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Thank you 8 )

[spoonishly.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow.

That hurts and it's real and it's nice and all kinds of things.

Good stuff.

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

Wow, really great drabble. Such a clever thing to think of, the lack of cold tile. I hadn't even considered it. The last image of her standing there, sort of but not truly comforting him is sad and sweet.

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I appreciate the comment, thanks.

And what a deep gesture of trust it is, letting her put a gun on his forehead, even with the business end away.

I wasn't sure until I pictured it, finally seeing that she *would* comfort him a little, respond to his gesture of letting her see him like that even with all the stuff still between them, the practicality of her thinking vs. the implications of the visual, but the picture made me happy, so...

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you very much 8 )

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Wow, really great drabble. Such a clever thing to think of, the lack of cold tile.

It's all about the cold tile, which has accompanied me through many a dark hour *g*

The last image of her standing there, sort of but not truly comforting him is sad and sweet.

She's so earnestly looking for a clue, I think, for a way through to him past his hurt (and her own). The end of Twice Shy is a detente, but far from the real work of reconciliation; I wanted to show that yearning across awkward distance.

[(Anonymous)]

And with Aeryn, comfort comes from the muzzle of a gun. *g*

[kurukami.livejournal.com]

Daaaamn. Very nice. :)

[danceswithwords.livejournal.com]

That's such a powerful image--as jonquil said, the trust, but also the idea that Aeryn can offer comfort from a gun, and John can take it, and that's the place where they are at that point.

[fbf.livejournal.com]

*curls up to you and purrs at your feet*

[denyeverything1.livejournal.com]

and then the flat of the grip is cool against his head

I love how the tension on both sides breaks right on that phrase and everything changes in that instant. Beautiful. And perfect characterizations.

[pdxscaper.livejournal.com]

Eyes closed, his hands involuntarily cup the grip and shift her cool fingers against his skin.
I love the picture this put in my head.

Excellent drabble. Just the right blend of Aeryn being pissed off, but still caring.

[rainer76.livejournal.com]

I love that John would let her witness detox - in my mind, it's always been kind of a toss up - but it works here, outside of the safety issue.

Aeryn's choice of remedy, a gun to the head, tends to make me smirk, but I adore the quiet trust that comes with their conversation. John sharing Earth references again, and Aeryn's response.

[ch1pper.livejournal.com]

Happiness is a cool gun?

Like how you made me think, yeah, he was still addicted on earth.

Her voice isn't unsympathetic, even though she hasn't touched him since the cold turkey set in with a vengeance.

Aeryn's hurt about the drug but still trying to be close to John.

I wonder how addiction is dealt with in the PKs?

Love this still.

[ch1pper.livejournal.com]

Your request came along at an entirely serendipitous moment. I had managed to produce a good icon and your text made it transcend.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Ah man, so perfect. Just the edge of comfort, both of them reaching just a little, that split second when she could just hit him, instead offers him a distant sort of help and they take a step closer.

[sabaceanbabe.livejournal.com]

Very powerful little ficlet. Wow. Not one word wasted. I bow to your way with words.

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it works, thank you 8 )

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

*skritches you behind the ears*

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Yay! That's what I was going for, I'm glad to see it turns like that!

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it--it sounds like I was able to make you see what I saw myself 8 )

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I love that John would let her witness detox - in my mind, it's always been kind of a toss up - but it works here, outside of the safety issue.

I figure if she did see him like that it would either be accidental or a conscious gesture on his part, an "i'll show you mine" thing perhaps. But it *wouldn't* be assumed as a matter of course, because make-up kiss aside, I just can't see them being that close yet.

Aeryn's choice of remedy, a gun to the head, tends to make me smirk, but I adore the quiet trust that comes with their conversation. John sharing Earth references again, and Aeryn's response.

Kind a like a frayed rope bridge, the worn wooden slats of those early interactions and the weathered hemp line of physical trust. Or something. Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead (or lay off the sudafed, perhaps).

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Happiness is a cool gun?

Yeppers ; )

Like how you made me think, yeah, he was still addicted on earth.

It's kinda fuzzy in the show, he could be off it without effects and just keeping his distance out of habit and fear; he could also have scored a vacation-sized supply from Noranti, who had just been dropping off his latest stash when the whole wormhole-ride happens.

Aeryn's hurt about the drug but still trying to be close to John.

Hurt and angry--what I love about that cut-short argument in Twice Shy is how pissed off she is, no longer walking on eggshells until he's 'ready' but engaging him, making him deal with her, with them. She fails, but she gives it a damned good shot.

I wonder how addiction is dealt with in the PKs?

Considering her bender on Valldon, I think it's the fact that it reinforced the distance, that it screwed up how he reacted to *her* that infuriates her; not the lakka itself, but the dependence and what he was using it for.

Love this still.

Yay! *dances*

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Yes, but did you get the subliminal message?

haunteddetox

Huh?

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Oh look, here's another flash of subliminal commands spliced into the ordinary programming:

stopgivingmeyourplotbunniesitsnotfair

Subliminal-subliminal message: snotfair *g*

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much!

[elliejane.livejournal.com]

I was going to quote something but it's all pretty :) You know, I LOVE character moments. Like lightening flashes that illuminate actions and reaction, thoughts and hurt that hadn't occurred to us before. Or that we just want someone to verbalise. Yum :)

[rydra_wong]

FWIW, it's canon that he has some on Earth, whether he's using or not - he uses it on the Skreeth in the fight, and that's how Aeryn finds out about it.

[anr]

oh. That's wonderful. Seriously. I'm trying to pick a favourite line or paragraph but the whole thing just flows so nicely. mmmm.

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Hee - notice how I didn't say, "Ohhhh, think I can co-opt that for the Haunted Detox Clinic fic?"

Let's just say it's not because I wasn't thinking about it, more because I'm working on my restraint:)

Tell your snot to stay where it's been assigned:)

[thassalia.livejournal.com]

Dude, as soon as I started reading it, I started thinking, "Haunted Detox Clinic" and wondering if we'd be able to write two fics simultaneously and figuring out where this would fit in because it so, so would, could, should:)

Mostly, I'm glad that I wasn't just projecting Haunted Detox onto this because I wanted to:)

[sunshinercj.livejournal.com]

Very, very cool.