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feldmanThe name of the game this year was Reboot, but I'm thinking that's way too narrow and shallow to truly capture what the net effects will shake out to be. Less of a reboot. More like gearing up for the zombie apocalypse.
In other words, we may have another round of downsize/move in store. The first was a success, but real life introduces variables you can't model. Back in MI we did without sleep, time to think, or leisurely interaction with loved ones. We drove a lot. We worked a lot. It was gerbil-wheel living and having broken out of that we're not going back to those killing compromises.
But back in MI we had family, and the nurturing stabilizing presence is sorely missed on both sides. His second bout of cancer has left my dad frail, and that's troubling (prostate cancer is probably in remission, but he's still dealing with fallout from the salivary gland cancer he's a four-year survivor of--he retires in a matter of months and it's none too soon).
Also, my kid blossoms with her grandparents and there's been heartbreak on both sides of that since the move. We knew it would be hard, and a loss, and we always planned on getting the band back together in the next few years, but if push comes to shove we aren't investing our time and effort into a place, but in living a life we enjoy with the people we love.
Then there's the dealbreaker. The big thing we moved for was financial stability, which turns out to have been a mirage due to corporate shenanigans. The local economy is better here (where wouldn't it be?) but our network of people with operating capital and job prospects is far better back home. The very idea of a stable job is quaint and naive. There is no stability, only Zool. From now on we work for ourselves and every gig is an indefinite-length contract: make hay like a sombitch in summer and hope it gets you through the winter. Networking is the spouse's strength, budgeting is mine, and we'll trade on his marketable skills while I plow through school.
Honestly, I have no idea what we're going to do or where. But that prospect is not the double-distilled panic-in-a-jug it used to be. We have options, and we have a damned sight better grip on our priorities, abilities and desires, and if this was just a few months of living in a cave eating locusts and honey then it still worked. Nothing like packing up your household twice in a year to really cull the crap out of your life.
In other words, we may have another round of downsize/move in store. The first was a success, but real life introduces variables you can't model. Back in MI we did without sleep, time to think, or leisurely interaction with loved ones. We drove a lot. We worked a lot. It was gerbil-wheel living and having broken out of that we're not going back to those killing compromises.
But back in MI we had family, and the nurturing stabilizing presence is sorely missed on both sides. His second bout of cancer has left my dad frail, and that's troubling (prostate cancer is probably in remission, but he's still dealing with fallout from the salivary gland cancer he's a four-year survivor of--he retires in a matter of months and it's none too soon).
Also, my kid blossoms with her grandparents and there's been heartbreak on both sides of that since the move. We knew it would be hard, and a loss, and we always planned on getting the band back together in the next few years, but if push comes to shove we aren't investing our time and effort into a place, but in living a life we enjoy with the people we love.
Then there's the dealbreaker. The big thing we moved for was financial stability, which turns out to have been a mirage due to corporate shenanigans. The local economy is better here (where wouldn't it be?) but our network of people with operating capital and job prospects is far better back home. The very idea of a stable job is quaint and naive. There is no stability, only Zool. From now on we work for ourselves and every gig is an indefinite-length contract: make hay like a sombitch in summer and hope it gets you through the winter. Networking is the spouse's strength, budgeting is mine, and we'll trade on his marketable skills while I plow through school.
Honestly, I have no idea what we're going to do or where. But that prospect is not the double-distilled panic-in-a-jug it used to be. We have options, and we have a damned sight better grip on our priorities, abilities and desires, and if this was just a few months of living in a cave eating locusts and honey then it still worked. Nothing like packing up your household twice in a year to really cull the crap out of your life.
