Novelties - embracing the shitty first draft

[feldman]

I'm not writing as much as I'd planned, but I also haven't run shrieking into the night.  Okay, so 7k words is not that much progress towards what feels like a novel, but it's the point where I usually stall and either start futzing with what I've written or stick it into a drawer.  I'm refraining from both, and trying instead to just keep going forward.

I don't know what's going on in this story, and this is a sign of progress compared to my usual forecast-the-plot-until-it-breaks tack.  I'm figuring out the people, and trying not to judge them as either too strange or too dull.  I'm actively releasing my death grip on hyper-reality, in favor of letting in some air space for oddity and whimsy and sex.

There's sex in this story, and so far I've never been able to face it head on, for two reasons.  I feel like I haven't earned the right to tell any kind of plot punchline without first telling the set-up; and I feel like it's pasted in for jollies.  As well as being mutually exclusive rationales, I've figured out they're both wrong.  It's obviously not just for jollies if I can't even look it in the eye ("Nine Lives of John Crichton" was for jollies, and that sprung from my forehead Zeus-style in a few days).  And if loving Arrested Development has taught me anything, it's that the whole set-up/punchline/call-back triad is not always linear or chronological, even if it ends up that way on the page the first time through.

There's immense value in seeing someone break a rule, especially when that rule is a self-imposed taboo one deduced from a restricted environment.

It's okay to have takes on things.  It's good when characters surprise you.  It's not essential to know everyone's story beforehand.  The Id will supply a deep meaning you didn't even know you were thinking about.  Once you've wrestled the squid onto the paper you can always go back and refine those writhing tentacles into calamari and delicate washes of ink.  But hunting the squid is not shameful, it's simply the first step in the process:

"I saw it misspelled, in mauve Krylon, on the side of a dumpster, and it haunted me." --William Gibson

Comments

[gloss]

I recently read a quotation from Jane Smiley that really helped me: Every first draft is perfect, because all a first draft has to do is exist.

At any rate, thank you for making this post. I always love hearing people's ruminations on their process, not least because it helps one feel a little less alone.

[feldman]

You're very welcome; lately I've been trying to verbalize some of the headjunk that's been cropping up, and finding that it helps clear out pipes. After this post I sat and wrote another thousand words I'm actively refraining from judging.

I also realize that the progress bar on my page refers to a previous abandoned iteration of this project. Hah! I broke the 8k barrier this time!

[fbf]

I really like how you are taking that leap and just letting yourself write, for good or bad. I find this insight into how you are trying to write very interesting because it mirrors how I seem to write, not that I have written much of anything in years. Your ability to hone and craft your words are second to none, imo, but it is great to see you embrace the joy of the writing and the realization that you can always trim the excess if you need to.

Bravo! my friend, bravo!

[feldman]

Aw shucks, baby. I think part of it for both of us is that there's been so much going on that needs our vigilant attention and emotional focus, the practical creativity of taking care of business, that the writing becomes the field that lies fallow.

For me, that practicality and even emotional keel that I've been working like a plow is hard to put down, but I'm finding it non-negotiable for writing, for letting the waking dream unfold without pinching myself out of that state.

I think I'm just so used to thinking of 'excess' as being on the phrase or paragraph level, with scenes and narrative direction being too large to explore or discard.