Poppet

[feldman]

This is why Mr. F should never be allowed to write fic. All the disturbing dialogue and imagery are Mr. F's fault. My own culpability is that I had to share.


The fanfic stylings of Mr. F
transcribed by feldman

"Alright!" Grunchlk peers down the valley of his forked beard, sizing up the tasty morsel clutching at the ramp of his transport. She reeks of Scorpius but her teeth glint prettily. "I'll take you with me on one condition."

She hisses, "Which is?"

He growls seductively, just barely audible over the groans of the dying. "Ever since your boy took hold of my body I haven't been the same. I want you...to crawl inside me...and work me like a puppet."

She winces in horror, but even as he does a randy little puppet dance her grip on the ramp doesn't budge.

"Come on, girl!" Grunchlk hits the button to retract the ramp. "I haven't got all day!"

She scurries aboard.

Comments

[spoonishly.livejournal.com]

Oh. My.

That certainly is...creative. The boy's got a future! Post it on Kansas! I dares you, I dares you!

[cofax7]

oh, ew.

and, Funny!

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Heh--as soon as I make an icon for him, to distinguish these co-authored bits.

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Mr. F does a pretty good Grunchlk voice as well, so now he can send me into fits with a simple "Come on girl!"

[scrubschick.livejournal.com]

*searches frantically for steel wool with which to scour Mr. F's images from her brain*

'Nuff said. heeeeeee!

[astrogirl2.livejournal.com]

Ewwwww!

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

The boy's Not Right.

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I'll pass that along 8 )

[kixxa.livejournal.com]

Hey, that's great. He's gonna go far!

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I like to think that without my prose-ifying assistance, his destructive power is contained.

[mesascaper.livejournal.com]

hee!

[kernezelda]

*falls over laughing*

[maudelynn.livejournal.com]

Mr F's images aren't as painful as that Courtney Hole icon...Looks like someone has been taking the wrong meds again! Does she realize she is beginning to look like Angeline?

But your Morticia Icon is amazing :)

[kixxa.livejournal.com]

Go Team Feldman!

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

She's not Courtney Love and she's not for real (not that Courtney Love is really for real herself, but, you know what I'm getting at). This is Ofc. Clementine Johnson from Comedy Central's "RENO 911!" (http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/reno911/blotter.jhtml). The shot is from the Homeland Security ep, heh.

[fourteenlines.livejournal.com]

BWAH. The Fanfic Stylings of Mr. & Mrs. Feldman, Now 100% More Disturbing (And That's Saying Something.)

[maudelynn.livejournal.com]

Boy I feel like an ass....

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't worry about it, I think the only other person on LJ who's watched it is trajictale--Kerne was concerned that she was a real cop *g*

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

He's my best friend for a number of reasons, one of which is his twisted brain 8 )

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

*props Kerne back upright*

[dealane.livejournal.com]

I own the season one DVDs...

[dealane.livejournal.com]

I like it! It's obvious you've been a very good influence on Mr. F. Please ask him to write more about the adventures of Grunchlk and Sikozu.

[fbf.livejournal.com]

My love of Mr. F grows with each passing gem that falls from his brain. hee!

:-* to both of you

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

Hee! me, too 8 )

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

This only leads to discussion of necrophilia while cooking dinner. Ask me how I know.

[dealane.livejournal.com]

OK! But I can't read the answer right now as I've just had lunch and don't have time to run to the bathroom to lose it. But here goes...

How does asking lead to discussion of necrophilia while cooking dinner? I bet is some kind of stream of consciousness thing isn't it?

BTW, I flove that icon.

[sevathediva.livejournal.com]

"Randy little puppet dance"

OMG!!! You're killing me!!!! So funny!!!!

seva