Pony Express

[feldman]

For two weeks in high school, as a favor to a friend, I joined the
track team. This is not to be confused with my ever having been a
runner.


I am not built for speed by any means. I've joked that I am built
like a Shetland
pony, which is less of a joke and more the moral of the story
where my body is concerned. Point being that no matter what ideals
are being pushed, people come in all shapes and abilities and one must
work with what one's been given. I will never look like a model or an
actress--my dad's bout with radiation and chemo put piad to the fact
that our skeletons are not sleek, they describe shapes meant to be
filled with muscle.

Going further, I will never fit into the 'healthy' BMI category, and
haven't since the year I hit menarche (13.5 years, 4'10" and roughly
120 pounds). BMI is not applicable to ponies or to grown women with a
double-D rack who are 5'1" and can carry a 270 pound man on their
back. Just across the living room, but then I haven't weight trained
in over a year, so that's the strength inherent even when living a
sedentary lifestyle. I have boobs and muscles, and am built to carry
them.

So running. For two weeks I practiced after school, running in
circles for an hour on the dirt practice track underneath the gym,
then walking a couple miles home (uphill but not through snow, I'd
quit way before then). I was not fast. I had no idea how to stretch
or even to stretch. I was a C cup bouncing in off-the-shelf
bras because it was the late 80's and even if we had the cash for
sportswear the standard uniboob option wasn't worth the effort. The
coach's idea of training was to pull me aside after a week, introduce
herself a second time, and ask me if I wanted to try shotput.

I used to regret not pursuing the other track events, because it might
have helped me keep active and healthier in my twenties. Looking back
from farther on, I'm glad I bugged out because if the coach couldn't
bother to train me to stretch before running, she'd sure as hell have
ruined my shoulders. Hell, it was before everyone carried drinks with
them all day, we didn't even have water down there.

I've always wanted to try running again. There were small moments in
those two weeks where, despite the crappy circumstances, I felt myself
going fast and I liked it. I forgot about my elbows squeezing my
jouncing rack under control, the dust in my throat, the ache in my
head and the pack of long-legged vets pulling ahead so far they came
up from behind. The still air became wind in my face and I was
fast, for a moment. I think that's why I stuck around for two
weeks. When I started exercising in my late twenties, and I saw how
"3 minutes=death" turns into "45 minutes=sweaty but refreshed" I began
to wonder, if I ran and kept running, would those moments also expand?

I've tried, a couple times. I'd get shoes and a good bra, and go out
once or twice. Unlike yoga or weights, I never felt the physical
attraction. I did shake off a lot of the mental crap from my two
weeks in high school--not being severely dehydrated and a
self-loathing teenager will work wonders for one's appreciation and
performance of a sport--but I figured walking was my speed and that
was that.

What's pushed me to try running again is time and necessity. I am not
only a pony, I am an 'easy keeper'.
My body is built for strength, for scarcity, for thriving on struggle,
and I just don't feel as good as I used to when I was exercising. I
can get small bursts of it, but nothing regular and nothing in a
sizeable chunk of time. I need something I can pick up immediately,
is intense, and gives maximum effort for time spent. Enter running.
I don't need to be fast. I just need to kick my ass in gear.

So I dusted off the Nikes from the last attempt, purchased the Grande Dame of sports
bras*, and Saturday I hit the track a few blocks from my
house. I followed the 'couch to
2k' recommendations. I warmed up and stretched, I ran the short
sides and walked the long sides of the track. I went around maybe
four times. I walked home. I did not feel like I was going to die.
I was sore all over yesterday, but pleasantly, not enough to move
slow. I was also energized, and my hunger was sharper. Not bigger,
just keener. In all, it felt like something my body needed and might
have possibly enjoyed.

I want to run again tonight. It's...weird.

*OMFG! It was like being twelve again! Yes it's like a
chest-corset, but it totally demonstrates why women would want to
strap themselves into corsets if it meant they could also get shit
done without their boobs aching or their backs breaking. When the
Cmonkey gets anything up top she's going to get a good sportsbra the
same day she gets her first regular one. I knew it was vital
equipment and I thought I loved my Champion brand bras, but I never
had one that did such a complete job before. I COULD JUMP
ROPE!!!

Comments

[cretkid.livejournal.com]

fun, ain't it?

I too am not built for running, at least not long distances with any sort of speed, but I can move quickly and change direction on a dime, so , eh... it helps me with softball and playing in the outfield anyway.

Not that I needed one in high school, but I wish good sportsbras had been around when I was playing sports regularly... didn't find a decent one until ... well, junior year of college and doing field work. I needed something that could double as a bathing suit if I needed one and wouldn't make me look like an exhibitionist.

hee!

And the uniboob does help with soccer (and softball) as I seem to stop more bad pitches with my chest than with my glove. hee!

[ropo.livejournal.com]

Go you! I've been walking quite a bit lately and throwing in some bursts of very slow running, and it's felt good. I haven't run in years, YEARS. And I was never a runner per se, though I was fast on the base paths in softball. But now I'm thinking this could actually work. (If I get a good bra; I'm checking out that link.)

[cofax7]

Yay!

You know, evolutionarily speaking, we are kind of built to run. It came after the brachiating and before the websurfing. *g* I do think anyone can run, but not everyone is going to be fast. You may have the speed in the sprints, though, which is great fun.

The great thing about running is that it's free and you can do it just about anywhere with limited equipment. (Which, um, hasn't stopped me from spending way too much money on workout gear from Title 9 and Athleta... erps.)

teand has a wonderful series of poems that she composes while running with her imaginary running companions, the Winchester boys. They're very funny: check the poetry tag on her LJ.

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

Funny how our build works, isn't it? I'm perfectly in the average range of weight and height at 5'7'' inches and 160 pounds, I can run well and long and like it (you're totally right; the endorphin high is wonderful, and it really helps build stamina), but at the same time, it's not what I'm made for. You know these people with runner's bodies, lean and a little hungry? Well, people like you can lift weights (and Jesus Christ, that's a LOT you can lift!), and I guess people like me can do other sports that require agility rather than strength or endurance. (I was a decent tennis player and a great skiier, though it's possible that's just because I started so early on the latter.)

[danceswithwords.livejournal.com]

I'm getting to the point where I find running mostly enjoyable, but I'm also not built for speed, so my main focus is on building stamina, which is quite a long-term project for me.

I really like the fact that I don't have to block out time to go to a gym, that I can basically open my front door and go exercise. More than that, though, I've found my relationship with the seasons and the streets of my neighborhood has changed a lot since I've been spending so much time outdoors at roughly the same time of day, taking in the houses and hills at a speed that lets me see them.

[lomer.livejournal.com]

Actresses come in all shapes and sizes. You may never be a waif-like ingenue on the CW, but talent isn't measured in dress sizes (as is evident by the MANY CW actors who were cast based on their doe-like appearance and not any ability to ACT.) And I don't mean to pick on the CW... they had shows like Veronica Mars... but they also have Smallville. SMALLVILLE!

As for exercising. I'm glad you're feeling the urge to run again! It's so weird to revisit things that were unpleasant experiances as a kid, as an adult. I always hated stretching because my body is a liar. It LOOKS like it should be all bendy and twisty and instead I can barely sit with my back straight and my legs straight in front of me on the ground. I don't kick at a 90 degree angle. 45 degrees we can talk about, 90 degrees isn't happening. I'm rediscovering stretching though, and I'm finding that I'm okay with the fact that I have stupidly tight hips and will never be the girl doing a split. My body is healthy, and it's moving to the best of it's ability. That's all I can ask for.