Shit lists (as in, lists of shit)
Oct. 24th, 2007 02:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
feldmanConcepts I'd like to pin to the clothesline and blast with a shotgun
1. Contraception is the woman's problem. I've got a whole menu of
options, from crappy to brilliant to intimidating to infuriating. Men have
only two. In het scenarios condoms offer contraception and sex safety in
one charming package (if no one's allergic to latex), but hello, since the
only alternative choice is sterilization, there is no good family
planning option for responsible men in a committed relationship. Why
the fuck is that?
2. Moms raise children. Not women, not men, but this sexless third
gender burdened with Responsibility and Anxiety and Obsession with Petty
Details and a million other traditional expectations, limitations and
marketing agendas. Moms wear streamlined khakis and an air of resignedly
bemused hyper-competance. In addition to directing the daily dramedy of
family life, they host the holidays like putting on a golden jubilee for
clueless spouse and oblivious children, and they interface with nearly every
professional and service the family contracts with. Only moms search WebMD,
make appointments, chart the course, keep the calendar, update the records,
forecast the contingencies and nudge everyone else to hit their marks
accordingly. Or so I keep being told.
When I married, I started having to correct false assumptions about my
relationship and homelife based on my ring. (I now respond with , "Oh,
really? Well, I married an adult, so..."). Now I find myself
reluctant to even come 'out' as a parent because it elicits comments
and false assumptions that are bizarre, tiresome and often downright
offensive to both me and Mr. F.
3. MILF as a term for any woman with children. People, I'll only say this
once: MILF refers to someone YOUR MOTHER'S AGE. I.e., Eddie Haskell
righeously digs Wally's mom June as a MILF. It's like your target heart
rate; the formula goes like this:
4. People telling me to have a 'blessed day'. It sounds awkward and it's
insinuatingly religious when the standard common phrases still work
perfectly fine. I know how to have a nice day, a great day, a good
afternoon, a lovely evening. I looked up "bless" to see if I was being too
sensitive and found it is definitely religious, coming from a German word
meaning "to sprinkle with blood". I don't even know you and you're wishing
me difficult laundry?
Things I'd like to do, Maslow's Basic Edition
1. Nap.
2. Watch tv. As in actually sitting down and watching the moving
pictures while listening to the sound at a level I can hear it at the
same time.
3. Go running. Lately I've been pinned to the couch for marathon
nursing sessions from when I get home until well after dusk.
4. Respond to comments. Maybe this belongs in the next list.
Things I'd like to do, Maslow's Pipe Dream Edition
1. Get back to the Physical Therapy to-do list. Now that I'm in a
good place and not burned out for the first time in years, it's not the
escape pod it was before. Now it's like I'm planning a metamorphosis
instead.
2. Get our Firefly box set back.
3. Get cell fixed so I don't have to take every call on speakerphone.
4. Nap.
5. Finish SubMyth's first draft by spring. I'm at 20k word count and
progressing steadily for the last month, so this might actually happen.
1. Contraception is the woman's problem. I've got a whole menu of
options, from crappy to brilliant to intimidating to infuriating. Men have
only two. In het scenarios condoms offer contraception and sex safety in
one charming package (if no one's allergic to latex), but hello, since the
only alternative choice is sterilization, there is no good family
planning option for responsible men in a committed relationship. Why
the fuck is that?
2. Moms raise children. Not women, not men, but this sexless third
gender burdened with Responsibility and Anxiety and Obsession with Petty
Details and a million other traditional expectations, limitations and
marketing agendas. Moms wear streamlined khakis and an air of resignedly
bemused hyper-competance. In addition to directing the daily dramedy of
family life, they host the holidays like putting on a golden jubilee for
clueless spouse and oblivious children, and they interface with nearly every
professional and service the family contracts with. Only moms search WebMD,
make appointments, chart the course, keep the calendar, update the records,
forecast the contingencies and nudge everyone else to hit their marks
accordingly. Or so I keep being told.
When I married, I started having to correct false assumptions about my
relationship and homelife based on my ring. (I now respond with , "Oh,
really? Well, I married an adult, so..."). Now I find myself
reluctant to even come 'out' as a parent because it elicits comments
and false assumptions that are bizarre, tiresome and often downright
offensive to both me and Mr. F.
3. MILF as a term for any woman with children. People, I'll only say this
once: MILF refers to someone YOUR MOTHER'S AGE. I.e., Eddie Haskell
righeously digs Wally's mom June as a MILF. It's like your target heart
rate; the formula goes like this:
Age of X's mother +/- 10 years = X's MILF age range
4. People telling me to have a 'blessed day'. It sounds awkward and it's
insinuatingly religious when the standard common phrases still work
perfectly fine. I know how to have a nice day, a great day, a good
afternoon, a lovely evening. I looked up "bless" to see if I was being too
sensitive and found it is definitely religious, coming from a German word
meaning "to sprinkle with blood". I don't even know you and you're wishing
me difficult laundry?
Things I'd like to do, Maslow's Basic Edition
1. Nap.
2. Watch tv. As in actually sitting down and watching the moving
pictures while listening to the sound at a level I can hear it at the
same time.
3. Go running. Lately I've been pinned to the couch for marathon
nursing sessions from when I get home until well after dusk.
4. Respond to comments. Maybe this belongs in the next list.
Things I'd like to do, Maslow's Pipe Dream Edition
1. Get back to the Physical Therapy to-do list. Now that I'm in a
good place and not burned out for the first time in years, it's not the
escape pod it was before. Now it's like I'm planning a metamorphosis
instead.
2. Get our Firefly box set back.
3. Get cell fixed so I don't have to take every call on speakerphone.
4. Nap.
5. Finish SubMyth's first draft by spring. I'm at 20k word count and
progressing steadily for the last month, so this might actually happen.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
3 things
Date: 2007-10-24 06:13 pm (UTC)*Snarf* Hehehe.
2. Excellent. According to your MILF math I've been using it correctly re: Demi Moore and Lena Olin *drool*
3. Your wikipedia link HTML is a bit hinky
no subject
Date: 2007-10-24 06:35 pm (UTC)But -- different strokes, and all that.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-24 06:38 pm (UTC)Don't worry. When CMonkey gets to be about 6 or 7, she ceases to become interesting to everyone except Disney Channel marketers and you'll be forcibly evicted from the Moms Club. "Moms" only have adorable little preschool-age accessories, you see, not those troublesome little girls who want to wear short skirts or boys with deepening voices. That's not "cute."
Do I hate this whole {huge air quotes} MOMS {/huge air quotes} thing? Is it that obvious?
no subject
Date: 2007-10-24 09:35 pm (UTC)As for the pipe dreams, I have a Firefly set that's not an official copy, but it will play in a regular DVD player. You want me to mail it to you? (Just so you've got *something* until your wandering set returns. And once that happens, feel free to pass this one on to the next person in need.)