Rant #1

[feldman]

sophia_helix wrote something brave this morning about size and self-perception that not only hit close to home, it also made me think that perhaps I might have something to add.

I've been that person (and sometimes I still am); ashamed of my body, disgusted with what it says about my life history, seeing the flesh I'm in as the accumulated evidence of failure and weakness. I'm still there in some respects, having only traveled halfway toward the body I'd like to live in. I remember that disconnect whenever I saw myself in a photo and was forced to see my body from the outside, forced to acknowledge that the dark hot embarrassed thoughts I had when I looked down at my rolls and my infant-soft proportions were based in truth: I was burying the familiar lines of my body underneath material evidence of how much I sucked.

Right now, halfway between my heaviest and my goal, I've maybe gained some perspective on the situation that I couldn't see before. I'm sure it will still be a confusing jumble, but maybe I'll say something that clicks.

I don't have answers, because those answers are always going to be personal. But I can at least tell you how I started walking away from that place.


First and foremost you must realize that America is set up for the manufacture of human veal.

This is nothing more than the best available expression of the body's desires for rich food and rest. These are premium luxuries for the human body, and in the environments we were forged in by evolution, there was no way to overindulge in them. Hence, there are no brakes on these desires other than what we establish consciously. And like any survival desire, it's best to work out an indulgence plan that satisfies both the primal and the civilized mind: if you deny the primal, it will eventually break you. This is why traditional diet plans do not work, and in fact, can make you lose ground in the long run.

We're built to rest, and to eat all the things we find yummy. We're also built to use our bodies during the day. All of these things are important and necessary; what makes the difference between lifestyle-induced health and lifestyle-induced illness is the balance between these things.

If you forage or farm, if you hunt or run a household in the traditional sense of keeping a family and their homestead fed, clothed and clean, you can take every available opportunity for leisure and still get plenty of exercise; you can eat all the fat and salt and sugar you can get your hands on and it will only help fuel you better. You can eat all the butter you want if you're keeping the cows, milking them, and churning the stuff yourself (or doing laundry for the lady who keeps the dairy).

Most Americans live in a very different environment, where rest and high-calorie foods are the norm and not a spice. The shape of our cities means that we drive nearly everywhere; the shape of our economy means we tend to sit or stand still at work; the shape of our food distribution means that what is available is what sells. What sells are the things that appeal to our primal desires for salt, fat and sugar, foods that give the most satisfactory bang for the buck (especially when we're eating on the go, eating distracted so that the food must clamor for our attention like a movie trailer). These foods are also cheaper to make and easier to store.

It takes effort and planning to add exercise to a typical American's day. It must be added back in because our bodies were built to need it, they just were never in an environment where it was optional, and so never developed a desire in order to obtain it. But we know from experience now that if you do not demand work from the body it will deteriorate to the point where it will not function; first the muscles and bones, then the fundamental systems of the body will begin to show the ravages of sitting still. Add high-calorie low nutrition food to the picture and you get where our country is heading in the next few decades.

Veal are killed young, but the typical veal-lifestyle American will ride those consequences out to the bitter end. The smart cynics are investing in diabetes therapies: it's gonna be huge.

So the first suggestion is twofold: recognize that your current lifestyle is making you into human veal and understand that it will take daily effort to break out of the pen and live differently. That every day you wander out and about and nibble the grass in the fields, you do yourself a favor.

You have a great advantage over veal. You are in control of your own body. You decide what to put into it, where it goes and what it does. The accumulated effect of these choices is what shapes your body's look and function. You don't have to be veal; you can choose to be anything else.



Up next: rants on the Zen of human body maintenance, and the lack of mirroring images for women in media (note to self: lack of Tara-sized women; tall or muscular women, cushy women in non-mom roles, Firefly as a (sad) standout with Zoe and Kaylee as healthy body-types; standard commercial pairing of doughy man and slim wife; commercially-perpetuated myth that only slim women can have fun in public or sex in private (we don't think that only white women in chinos clean their houses, do we? then why do we buy this?) maybe wrap up with the fact that BMI is a sick joke that feeds into the perception that the only 'healthy' woman is a thin weedy one).

Comments

[cretkid.livejournal.com]

I'm with you, babe.

:-D

When I was younger, and in school all the time, exercise was a normal part of life. Be it Little League or street football when I was in grade school, or soccer/basketball/softball practice every day from 2:30 until 5:30 and games in the weekends. When I hit college, I ate right (meaning I didn't ALWAYS eat burgers and fries) and still I got the Freshmen-40 -- but at the time, it actually was a very healthy weight gain for me.

I found my pedometer the other day; it had been sitting on a shelf because I needed to replace the batteries and I finally went and did that this weekend (when I wasn't hacking like a wounded seal on the couch). And I found it interesting that, yeah, simply walking the dog - even once a day, as I'm nto quite up to twice a day right now - teaching, and my usual walking around the building, I'm walking the equivalent of about 5 miles a day (12,000 steps, at approximately a 3-foot stride) and that's with just walking the dog ONCE.

We live a sedentary life style, unfortunately. I had my greatest weight gain a couple of years ago when pneumonia knocked me flat for almost 5 months (reoccurring episodes of bronchitis, finally culminating in pneumonia and a kickass effort to rid my house of all wallpaper -- evil evil EVIL (and old) stuff!). Part of that weighth gain was the prednisone (I misspelled that) and so, well, yeah, a lot of that is muscle weight. I certainly don't LOOK like I weight 180 pounds right now -- which is what I weigh currently -- I would LOVE to be back down to 165, which was my weight BEFORE the never ending battle with bronchitis.

And walking has certainly helped in that endeavor. I'm down to 180 from 195 just a few years ago... I was down to 170 last summer, and it's my intention to be BACK down there this summer and STAY there and possibly go farther.

And until I got sick a while ago -- again, damn allergies -- I was back into a regular exercise routine. I need to add a bit of weight training into it, and that will happen soon enough. But tack on those extra miles on a bike to the already 5 miles I'm walking a day just doing normal stuff, and I can afford to splurge on Dunkin Donuts (for a bagel, not a donut) every once in a while.

It's the simple things that we take for granted - walking the dog, for example, or a walk after dinner - that CAN make all the difference if you make a conscious effort to do them on a daily basis.

I hide behind big clothes, but I've always found big clothes comforting. And if I'm in a comfortable mood, I'm a happier person. I'm more willing to go out and do things without my subconscious piping in my ear saying 'you're gonna look like a fool!' if I'm comfortable doing it!

Still won't get into a bathing suit, but that's another story all together.

:D

Anyway. LOVE the rant, please continue. And now I need to tack on another couple hundred steps teaching... actually, I wonder how much movement I DO make when teaching... I should monitor this.

[rubberneck.livejournal.com]

I certainly don't LOOK like I weight 180 pounds right now -- which is what I weigh currently -- I would LOVE to be back down to 165, which was my weight BEFORE the never ending battle with bronchitis.

This ties into my impending rant about healthy images and how BMI is a dangerous crock of shit masquerading as a scientific tool. All NHL hockey players score in the obese category on BMI. Even my goal weight is at the borderline of unhealthy on this travesty of a chart. I've seen you, and I wouldn't have guessed you weighed 180 because you're built well and your body is tuned to an active lifestyle.

I hide behind big clothes, but I've always found big clothes comforting. And if I'm in a comfortable mood, I'm a happier person. I'm more willing to go out and do things without my subconscious piping in my ear saying 'you're gonna look like a fool!' if I'm comfortable doing it!

This is an excellent point, because there's so much commercial pressure in the other direction, that only people who look a certain way (i.e., thin and pretty) can have fun or be active or accomplish the things they want. You see it so often, somebody drops weight and suddenly they can do all the things they couldn't when they were fat--but they could do those things before, they just wouldn't let themselves. And so weight becomes an acceptable excuse not to accomplish, not to even try, and that's high-grade bullshit, IMO.

I seem to have drifted from my original point; beyond certain physical limitations, fat should not be considered a handicap or social disease. The more we buy into that crap the worse off we'll be, as more and more talented people who gain weight because of the American lifestyle get sucked into this morass of self-loathing that seems to go along with it like a shadow.

[cretkid.livejournal.com]

fat should not be considered a handicap or social disease. The more we buy into that crap the worse off we'll be, as more and more talented people who gain weight because of the American lifestyle get sucked into this morass of self-loathing that seems to go along with it like a shadow.

EXACTLY! Leading a healthy lifestyle does not mean fitting into a size 6 dress! Am I happy wearing a size 16 pant (and that's mostly for the length than anything else), yes. Why? Because my size is not what defines ME.

I will go to SAMs Club or Walmart or whereever and buy a large T-shirt and a pair of large shorts, not because I am large, but because I particularly like the length. I hate showing my ankles in pants. I like my shorts to reach my knees (though, that may be conditioning by the nuns that said your skirt and your shorts have to be knee length and they made you kneel down to make sure the cuffs hit the floor), I like my shirts to cover my ass. Why? Don't know. Just do.

My mom mentioned the fact that it looked like I was losing weight. It wasn't so much that I lost weight, but I was wearing a different cut of pants (not nearly as bulky as my normal winter pants -- so that I can comfortably wear mid-weight long johns underneath).

I hate watching shows like "What Not to Wear" and the ilk, but they make one point extremely well - it's not all about WHAT you wear, but HOW you wear it. With the obsession about body image and how one might look to the public, if you take the time to find articles of clothing that compliment your body style, you feel better. If you feel better, you're bound to do MORE things that are good FOR you. Better your idea of body image, you start with a better mindset, you're in a HEALTHIER state of mind and you ARE HEALTHY.

Zen is a good thing.

:-D

[scrubschick.livejournal.com]

t's not all about WHAT you wear, but HOW you wear it Exactly. Finding clothes that compliment your body type rather than trying to squeeze your ass into something designed for someone much smaller. Or, in my case, younger. Just because it comes in your size doesn't mean it suits you. I'm guilty of buying things which I should NOT be wearing at my age. Damn whomever brought back hip huggers! Must. Stop. Buying. Those.

And, as I said in cretkid's journal, just because one is slender (thank you, genetics!) doesn't mean one is healthy. I am way too sedentary, especially in colder weather. Keep talking, gals. You may motivate me to exercise. You've at least pushed the 'guilt button.' I am feeling smug at the moment because all I did on vacation (when not driving to and from) was walk. If only I can keep it up. Must. Buy. Pedometer. Not hip-huggers. :D